GAJUMARU

My spirit wants to soar.

Wants to be in the mountains.

I might have some crazy ideas.

I want to go to Himalayas and search for an ashram, because I know it's there.

I know for sure that everything exists.

On different plane of existence, but it does.

What I really want is the truth.

The truth can only be reached in silence.

In order to be in silence, you need to be in silence.

A, stop talking.

B, have no devices.

C, probably stop eating and stop breathing too.

These are not an easy tasks to be accomplished in the centre of megapolis while raising a seven year old.

I am going to travel.

I'm gonna go back to Spain.

Time will reveal what I’m really going to do.

The truth is that at the moment I am not fully accepting my daughter being raised here.

School she was in Ibiza was curated by the Spirit that lives within me.

Ibiza was chosen by the higher presence.

So was Turkey I guess.

I understand that I know nothing.

I am upset and hurt and kicking and screaming because I am pulled into a situation that I don't like.

I want to leave everything behind and just go.

Where would I go?

To Ibiza.

To hike and swim in the sea and see my friends.

Continue building myself and my life.

Practice Yoga.

Just another prison, even more beautiful than this one.

I can go anywhere in the world, anything can happen.

I think I really want to go to India.

Maybe to Ananda in the Himalayas.

Maybe my guru is going to guide me to a different address.

I don't know.

It's going to be revealed to me when it's time.

I was talking about how reality is created.

So this is how it goes:

We believe in something.

As we start believing, this feedback loop gets reinforced.

At some point of this belief, the belief will turn into the truth.

This is not absolute truth, it's the subjective truth of the individual.

Once it becomes that, it can permeate to the collective, and then collective also starts believing that.

With time, it becomes absolute truth.

How this whole information gets manipulated?

This is how we are manipulated as a society.

Someone comes up with something, claims it to be true.

Makes a convincing list of evidence, other people start believing.

The belief turns into the truth.

As a result of collective manifestation, the thought becomes material and that's it.

It's done.

Same thing with religions, same thing with politics, same thing with everything.

It is all Spirit.

The spirit world rules everything.

Nothing happens by chance.

There is no free will.

We are just little robots following the movement of the planets.

There's not much we can do but helping the other reach their full potential.

That's the only thing that makes me happy.

I have difficulties in applying it to myself and my own daughter.

Shoemaker with bare feet.

Since I died, I became such a grown up.

Nothing fulfils me, even if I eat a bag of sugar, even if I train, even if I run, even if I swim.

I still get some enjoyment from flirting when my man hugs me and plays with my hair, I really like that.

I like aloneness and celibacy, and I like longing for my guru.

I know the invisible world is present everywhere, all the time, and is laughing at my attempts to understand it, because I still continue to try to do that with my mind.

Heart already won, and the Bhagavad Gita in my life is playing itself out quite smoothly these days.

How did I contribute to create this world and such a lack of balance, or maybe there is a perfect balance?

It's just I cannot see it yet.

Everything is perfect as is.

This moment is perfect as it is.

Music is here.

Sun is here.

Water.

Soon, there is gonna be a bathtub.

My friend who is a yogi, will come and remind me how I love yoga.

My destiny will find me in November, December and January.

I might go to Kumbh Mela.

Maybe I will celebrate my birthday at the World Sacred Spirit Festival in Jodhpur?

The closer I will get to the sacred land of India, the more Kriya I will practice,  things are going to fall into place.

I will get to love Istanbul soon, because it's a fabulous place.

I'm going to speak Turkish and Russian before I die.

Maybe even Sanskrit, maybe Hebrew, maybe Arabic.

I continue setting goals.

If God gifts me enough time, I shall master myself in all levels possible.

I will continue to pray and to write down my intentions because I write down my destiny.

I understand this.

I'm a director of my own movie.

I want this movie to be completely amazing and beautiful and flowing and full of surprises.

I want to see my beloved in Ibiza.

I miss him very much.

I want to remove myself as a cause of suffering to anyone.

I don't want to be that.

Better to be the shining beacon of light, because this is who we really are.

Light.

We are unfolded space and we forgot what we are.

The more you look in one direction, the more is going to reveal itself.

I understand that I'm choosing a very narrow band of frequency.

I trust it to be the right one.

I am going to reintroduce music in my life.

If I go to Ibiza, which is not certain, I will go to Alex’s concert, because I love his music.

I miss music dearly.

I am music.

It's all about the sound and frequency, sacred geometry.

I could learn so much from my partner.

I am just so sad and heartbroken that I got to be this free consciousness, and now I am incarcerated in a body.

In a city, in circumstances that so many would be envious of.

When I was sitting on the top of the mountain in Sochi, admiring the beauty of nature, thinking: What the fuck are we doing with the world?

Thinking of how little is really necessary to experience the beauty of life, the beauty of creation.

We are all ungrateful.

I am.

Not working hard enough on what's really important.

It's all about love.

If I was dying tomorrow, my last wish would be to be in the presence of a person I love the most.

You.

There's only one being, and we are all it.

There's no separation.

Everything is an illusion.

We have to keep going.

If you want to change your life, just choose a direction and go there.

Go as high as you can, and then reach higher and then even higher.

Understand that there are no limits other than the ones imposed by your mind who is a liar.

It will not want you to get out of your comfort zone ever, because it's lazy.

Please understand that all your dreams are lying on the other side of fear.

It's difficult to finish things you begin.

Just because 8 billion people are mistaken it doesn't mean you cannot be right.

Maybe you can.

Maybe all is possible.

Maybe everyone is right at the same time.

Everyone acts and believes whatever they are able to at their level of consciousness.

What do I believe?

I believe that everything starts with a belief, that I'm a spirit in a human body, not a human.

I’m a spirit.

Maybe I'm even a mushroom.

I don't know.

We'll see.

I believe that the invisible world is supporting me and continues to guide me.

I believe that I created a generational wealth for my daughter and myself and many more, as a result of investing in myself.

I believe that investment in education and health is the most important and impactful one can make for themselves.

I believe that I can eat whatever I like, and at the moment, I cannot expect of myself to be perfectly perfect with everything.

I have flaws, and it's okay to have flaws.

I’m a woman, I'm a human.

I live in the material unreality,

I am learning every day, mastering the laws of the universe, mastering the elements.

I am overwhelmed by the amount of information coming my way, and by lack of understanding of my approximate environment.

I don't believe that educational system, as it is available in Turkey is the one for my daughter.

Luckily I do not have to raise her on my own any longer, so I trust that God has a plan, and he put her in this school with this father in this city for a reason.

I don't have to get involved in that.

I just have to keep doing my thing and write about what I experience.

My experience is precious and can help many other people overcome their own weaknesses.

I live in a country that the adoption of cryptocurrencies is one of the fastest in the world.

I am fascinated by this subject.

I keep curating the future and creating my own reality.

I know how to do that really well.

I'm just gonna chill and pause for now.

Breathe, it's all about the breath.

It's always about the breath, nothing else but the breath matters.

Believe it or not, it’s a prayer.