Lost & Found

Lost & Found

IBIZA. 

I was introduced to myself here.

To the sacred medicines.

I spent a lot of time in the spirit realm.

Exploring the island while testing human potential with the aid of entheogenics.

I fell in love here. 

I lived one of the most romantic moments of my life here.

Definitely the most beautiful moments of my life. 

I lived them here. 

This is how we get wired. 

This is the conditioning.

I am very attached to the island.

Yesterday, I was reading aboutThe Goddess Tanit.

She is the spirit guardian of the island.

Her Shiva, Ba´ al Hamon.

Their history.

I have not met her.

I never prayed to her. 

I know very little about her. 

Yesterday in this beautiful book that is in the hotel, I was looking at her sculpture.

She welcomed me here without me knowing anything about her.

She continues to allow me to live here.

To rest in the beautiful energy of the island and the nature. 

She allows me to walk safely in the woods, to hear my shoes on the ground.

This calming frequency that puts my heart at peace.

I walked so many hours, countless days.

First with my friends, later alone.

Meeting with the Creator and his creation was so profound for me.

I am fully surrendered to this island.

Loyal to her.

Faithful.

It is my dream to leave a mark here before I go.

To leave my stamp. 

Not that Ibiza needs any stamps on her.

She allowed this consciousness of mine to be expanded to infinity.

She held me in the arms of her waters like I was in a womb.

She showed me so many miracles: the jellyfish, the forest, the rocks.

Sabina trees that saved my life so many times.

Incredible friends and teachers I met on the path.

Fantastic food, great hotels, but most of all:

The safety I feel when I'm here & the sense of freedom.

Freedom to express myself for who I think I really am,

for who I feel that I am.

I am so thankful to the island for allowing me to accept myself the way I am.

To swim nude and to be on the beach naked without shame.

Getting to know myself better, getting to love my body.

She allowed me to learn from everything and everyone.

She showed me the path of silence that I have been following.

She awakened the memories of past lives. 

She facilitated my awakening to realisation that I am asleep.

She is my mother.

Today, in the moment of despair, I wanted to call my mom and say:

¨Mom, how can I teach? 

I have to teach.¨

Each of us receives their own lessons when the time is right.

Every person is going to receive whatever they are meant to, when the time is right.

It cannot be accelerated. 

It cannot be delayed.

It is going to happen sooner or later for everyone in their divine timing, because everything is divine. 

Perfect. 

It's just our understanding that is faulty.

It is quarter to six.

I am almost back at the hotel, walking around, seeing Ibiza under construction.

Things are being built, things are being destroyed.

So am I.

I am building myself, destroying myself.

Sometimes I say: sugar is poison. 

Sometimes I say: thank you sugar.

It grounds me.

It allows me to calm down my nerves.

I have a session at the longevity clinic here.

The Rose Bar that was co-founded by Dr Mark Hyman. 

I was lucky to meet him at the Harvest conference, at the Six Senses in Kaplankaya in Turkey that I participated in six times in a row. 

This is where I originally thought I woke up. 

This is where I had my first breathwork session with Lisa de Narvaez. 

In that session, I saw my daughter holding a red balloon on a grass. 

She was in her pram, laughing. 

I understood that I have to divorce immediately. 

I remember I came back from that conference to our home in Bodrum and told my husband that I was leaving him.

It ended with a serious fight. 

The following day, I took our daughter, flew to London and filed for divorce.

This is how powerful breathwork is.

It's all about the breath.

Breath has the ability to tell you the truth in every moment. 

The more I study the science of pranayam, the science of Kriya,

the more books I read like James Nestor´s ¨Breath¨, or The Oxygen Advantage,

Hatha Yoga by Elizabeth Haich.

The more I practice myself, I continue to understand that breath is really everything.

I would like to give more time to that.

To just breathe, to come down, to be able to hear the truth.

It only comes in silence in very profound ways.

Over the years, I was privileged to laugh cry and work with different breathwork practitioners.

Here in Ibiza, with Sapphire, with Anika, with many others.

I remember organising a breathwork session with Lisa de Narvaez in London where I met an incredible man

with whom I built a relationship for nine months during my divorce.

It was him who invited me on the path of sacred medicines. 

I am very grateful to him for the time we have shared and all the teachings that came from that relationship.

It was a beautiful flight.

Teachers are everywhere all the time.

One just needs to listen.

As I walk in the woods around the hotel, I don't want to go back. 

There is a session with the doctor scheduled for me at The Rose Bar.

To discuss my longevity protocol for the next two weeks.

Hyperbaric Chamber is there that makes me think about Aliwalu.

There is ozone therapy, different IV cocktails to enhance function of the brain.

There's so much magic closed in these few rooms at the hotel.

My truth is in front of me.

Walking here is the strongest medicine I can think of. 

It doesn't give justice of what it really is.

If you come to Ibiza…

If you were meant to receive this gift in your lifetime, to come and meet her gentle shores.

If you get to sit on the rocks and listen to the wind.

If you keep on walking around, she will show you so much love.

She will share so many secrets.

If you are lucky enough to meet Manuel that created Ibiza Hike Station and walk with him around the island.

If there is another friend that can show you her secrets...

You can just walk alone.

She will hold you.

You can cry and scream and laugh.

She will just be there as a witness to your process.

If you come to Ibiza to party and hear some of the best DJs in the world.

She will show you a different side.

If you come here to drink and take drugs that are harming your system, she will accelerate that process.

She's a karmic accelerator too.

You might end up in some serious situations that you don't want to be in.

She's a great guru.

She's a true master.

Sometimes she does not look very friendly.

People complain about architecture here, and that it's a party place.

I can tell you that it's the most healing place that I have ever been to.

It's a place full of love, full of miracles.

Full of beautiful people from all walks of life that come here and gather to heal and help others.

It's like a laboratory of God.

Plant medicine lives here. 

Yoga lives here.

Music.

Craftsmanship.

Art. 

Every plant is alive, every rock you can speak to, everyone and everything.

Everything whispers:

¨Hey, I'm here¨.

¨Do you want to talk?¨

She's known for Sabina trees.

These beautiful, strong trees that grow in between rocks with extremely strong roots.

They are so supportive and can hold you when you are about to fall.

Her water is gentle, but at times, she will smack you so you can learn the lesson.

There are jellyfish that are guarding The Dragon lines.

Everyone is smiling here.

It's the most beautiful in winter, when the hotels are closed and life is moving to people's homes, where

we gather and celebrate life.

This is where education is blooming in all forms. 

Different educational systems are applied here.

There are progressive schools from all around the world.

There's a lot of farming and regenerative farming.

Fantastic bakeries.

You can learn anything you want here.

What I have learned is how to be myself.

I was so happy when I lived in London,

I was certain that I'm gonna grow old there.

During my divorce I came here and found my home.

I learned from my friend how to get lost so I can find myself.

That it's important to be here and now.

It's a place where I am able to rest.

It's a place where I feel most loved. 

It's a place that I call home, because it reminds me that my body is my home and everything is inside of me.

I am now next to the tower above the Six Senses.

There are a few of those on the Island. 

Mystery guardians of this multiverse from 18th century. 

I am looking at Fincadelica on the other side of the bay.

It was recently opened in Cala Xarraca.

I remember three years ago there was nothing there. 

There was an old building. 

Now, in three short years, it's this spectacular gem shining brightly on the map of the island.

So much can be done in three years.

I came, I lived, I died, I came back.

I was in a hospital. 

Traveled the world. 

I learned so much about myself, I do not give myself enough credit.

We live in the world that conditions us to perform outside.

The truth is I made an amazing progress inside of myself.

The internal change I went through in the last three years is so significant and meaningful to me.

To the world that surrounds me, to people I love, this is what matters most.

God knows what happened. 

Some of my friends think I just disappeared and I'm anti social (which I am).

I went on a journey in between worlds and now I am back home.

Standing in the most beautiful olive tree in front of the Six Senses hotel in Ibiza.

Praying in the language of my heart to God to grant me enough time so I get to share my story in the most appropriate way,

so it can help as many people as possible find their truth and healing.

Appreciation for life and the divine gift that we have to be incarnated on planet Earth. 

It's such a privilege to be able to be here and have individual consciousness and experience the world of separation, striving to go back to Unity.

Laughing with joy and understanding that this is temporary, and this too shall pass, and not matter what comes the movie keeps rolling and it's better if you fasten your seat belt.

Walking down the steps I am passing by my friend's store Agora, where the curation of fantastic designers

has its home.

I'm gonna speak to my friend Daniela and see if we can organise a little photo shoot in the next few days so I can take advantage of the environment I am in this moment and create something beautiful.

If inspired, act immediately.

It’s perishable.

So are we. 

I shall dance in grace and laughter as long as I can.

The beauty of the hall of learning is deadly.

Thank you Lord ( of the rings ).