WEI WU WEI

Wei Wu Wei 

It’s an art of sailing, not an art of rowing. 

22.09.2024 

23 months later I am flying to the Source of Inspiration.

Thank You Heavenly Father for giving permission to cross borders of unknown realms yet again.

I know You are always with me, I trust in You completely.

Looking at my altar, holding my child, connecting with my inner child.

God, how did I deserve all this Grace ?

I’m wearing a ring.

It’s called a possession ring and was created by Piaget.

I would like to sell it and reinvest the money in my health.

It was a gift from dear friend who taught me how to gamble.

We were in Las Vegas and I was not even 30 years old.

Gambling welcomed me with warm embrace to show its real claws with time.

I remember sitting at the blackjack table for 14 hours 2 days before Lila was born.

Anxiety. 

Fear. 

Excitement.

That night I lost an amount that could buy a home.

I could not stop.

I signed myself out of all casinos using sense and I didn’t go back in until 5 years later, in Ibiza, when cards decided to share some wisdom with me yet again.

This statement might seem unreal to you : Magic rules the world.

Not logic. 

Magic.

Cards are alive.

All is.

They showed me their history and I kept playing in grief and terror.

I did not play since then.

Colours of the chips carry significance.

Colours on the banknotes carry significance.

All colours of everything carries symbolism within it and if you are curious about the subject.

I recommend reading The Wisdom of The Tarot by Elisabeth Haich and looking at your own wardrobe.

Gambling allowed me to forget.

It provided excitement and adrenaline.

Shots so powerful that I was able to let go of my mind and all else bothering me in the moment.

It is 4.10.2024

I am back in Istanbul after a week spent in Sochi - beautiful Russian ski resort where My Master held a Kriya retreat that I was able to attend for the first time.

It is not translated to English and my understanding of Russian is still not great, nevertheless I went.

It was incredible.

Today is Friday so I am writing.

This is not what I wanted to write about.

I met someone in a shop today, he is very handsome.

He asked what do you write about ?

The nature of reality - I answered.

There I am, writing my diary.

Simple way of projecting a slice of my so called reality with wider audience in hope to reach some sort of understanding of who I really am.

I am uncertain whether I am trying to explain it to others or to myself.

Spirit realm is cheering for me.

There is profound level of understanding between us.

They know and I know that I will fail.

That the truth is so big and incomprehensible that there are no words that can express it and if you are mortal and didn’t die or any other significant event did not occur in your life this is going to be difficult to understand.

I´ll try anyways.

I have to.

I must.

When I am asleep, in the middle of the night or when I am immersed in nature, the stream of pure consciousness unobstructed by thought permeates through me carried by the wind.

The moment I try to put it on paper or express it with words it is so elusive that I fail every time and either laugh or cry because of the inability to do it.

I guess that is how all music and art were ever created.

Maybe I have to move towards higher art of expression than a written word.

How could I ?

Word for me is everything.

Almost, silence is.

Let’s say the word is important.

The LOGOS, creative principle of the universe is so much more but for now lets focus on the word.

It is striking that it took 40 years for me to only begin to understand how the word creates the world.

As I am writing this, my future changes its course. 

5 minutes ago I was planning to start a fire and gaze at it - that was an excellent idea, but here we are.

I am in front of my computer.

It would have been better if I was writing this on a page and filmed that action so you can understand better what is happening but I´ll try my best to convey it in this way.

I am writing, because I AM A WRITER.

The action of writing reinforces the neural pathway in my brain that is created every time I sit down and write.

I chose Fridays as my writing days and after few weeks I write almost everyday.

It’s obvious, you might say.

It is not.

Writing on a computer helps me concentrate and pack information in an essence instead of writing lengthy paragraphs.

It is 18:25 and I am able to observe that mind continues to jump from subject to subject and writing in a form that it is used to - editing a post for my blog. I am happy to do that just to explain the creation of reality, but I would like to have it in a clear form of a plan / pattern that I can show and explain to anyone within 3 minutes.

Let’s try.

Here we go:

Dear God.

Today I am upset with You.

The more you show me the less desire within me to write anything else.

I agreed to share what I know with my friends but what I am discovering now leaves me speechless.

When I started writing my journals in 2022 for the first time in a successful way after many years of failed attempts it was out of fear.

I was simply praying.

My hands shaken barely held the pen when I was begging for your mercy.

I remember and you remember what I wrote.

It was the statement of things as they were.

What I have perceived and what I felt, what I saw.

These journals were destroyed.

The terror that was transmitted from within my body onto paper was drown in the waters of my mother island ibiza and burned on her grounds.

Grandmother Water and Grandfather Fire took care of them after paper held me as a first rescue.

They did not disappear, I am aware of that.

As I gave them life on paper, charging it with my emotions, they gained energetic momentum and are roaming time and space looking for an opportunity to express themselves, this is their task.

You held me.

By your grace it was possible.

To transmit all that fear onto paper.

My body was shivering.

My consciousness was hijacked by a being of higher evolutional development ( probably much more ancient than I am although that’s uncertain ) and to simply put it, I was scared shitless.

Waking up in my dreams, discovering that I am in a dream within a dream, not knowing where I was and whether I am dead or alive.

Being threatened to be tormented for eternity without ability to die and ask for help, with no living being but evil in my presence scaring me on all levels, threatening to harm my family, my loved ones and to inflict pain and suffering for the rest of eternity.

Yet here we are.

2 years later I am sitting at my desk in Istanbul, healthy, writing a casual text for a blog that I created.

Surely I can do better than that.

After all, I survived much more than my own death.

Oh well.